Curves In All the Wrong Places

"Of The Knowledge of Truth"

The Imitation of Christ - Thomas à Kempis

"The more simplicity a man has within himself, the more things and the deeper things he understands, and that without hard work, because he receives the light of understanding from above.  The spirit that is pure, sincere, and steadfast is not distracted though it has much work to do, because it does all things for the honour of God and strives to be free from all thoughts of self-seeking.  A person who is good and devout determines beforehand within his own heart the work he has to do, and so is not drawn away by the  desires of his selfish will but subjects everything to the judgement of right reason.  Who has a harder battle to fight than he who strives for self-mastery?  

This should be our endeavour: 

to master self and thus daily grow stronger than self and strive for perfection.

All perfection has some imperfection joined to it in this life.  A lowly knowledge of yourself is a surer way to God than the deep searchings of man's learning.  Not that learning is to be avoided nor the taking account of anything that is good; but a good conscience and a holy life is better than all.  And, because many seek knowledge rather than good living, they go astray and bear little or no fruit.

How many perish through empty learning in this world who care little for serving God.  And, because they love to be great more than to be humble, they have become "futile in their thoughts"

(Romans 1:21).  He only is truly great who has great love.  He is truly great who considers himself small.  He is the truly wise man who considers all earthly things as garbage that he may gain Christ.  And, he is the truly learned man who does the will of God and forsakes his own will."

Observation:

I am intrigued by the question, "How does one become stronger than one's self?"

It seems a counter-cultural word in a milieux where so many characters are daily devoted to the improvement and empowerment of the self.  We are used to the idea that their is something wrong with our current self, but the perscription generally offered is to become a better, stronger self by undertaking the proper disciplines or consuming the correct amount of a product.

Unless I have him wrong, à Kempis runs the other way with the problem.  The solution to that which is wrong with my "self" is not to obsess over a cure or undertake a program of betterment, but to avoid fascination with self all together.

As he struggled to find true freedom worthy of the gospel, Martin Luther picked up on evocative language for the nature of this sinful fascination developed hundreds of years earlier by Augustine of Hippo:  se incurvatus in se (self curved in upon self).

Our (Lutheran) order of baptism includes the following three big no's by way of a profession of faith before expounding the three big yes' of the Apostle's Creed:

                  Do you renounce the devil and all the forces that defy God? I renounce them.

                  Do you renounce the powers of this world that rebel against God?  I renounce them.

                  Do you renounce the ways of sin that draw you from God? I renounce them.

So, how does one become stronger than one's self?  By paying more attention to the good relationships we have been created for in the first place - right relations with God and right relations with our neighbours.  In the end, only life enriched by these relationships is fertile enough to give rise to an authentic self.  Anything else, is a hall of mirrors.

Application:

Today I hear God saying to me, "I see you.  I love you."

As I steep in my Creator's unconditional favour, I am set free to exit the hall of fun house mirrors that exists inside my psyche.  Outside of myself, I am captivated by the simply profound beauty of the creatures God has placed me alongside.  The world outside myself is infinitely more interesting than the cell of my own obsessions and insecurities.

Today I hear God saying to me, "Look around you.  Explore, celebrate and serve."

What a delight to follow these marching orders.  They have already led me into several fascinating interactions today.  I have learned about rare auto-immune disorders, changing educational theories and methodologies, computer programming, foxes, Harry Potter and ...

What about you?  

What are the vistas God is eager to show you just beyond the threshold of self?

Prayer:

Jesus, for freedom you have set us free.  Grant us grace to stand in this freedom and not to revert again into curved in postures of slavery.  And, when we do, visit us in these prisons of our own willfulness and give us the words of eternal life to free us once more.  Amen.

IMHO

Of Thinking Humbly of Oneself

Chapter Two - The Imitation of Christ - Thomas à Kempis

What profit is knowledge without the fear of God?  Better is a lowly peasant who serves God than a proud philosopher who watches the stars and neglects the knowledge of himself.  He who knows himself well is vile in his own sight, neither does he regard the praises of men.  If I knew all the things that are in the world and were not walking in love, how would it help me before God, who is to judge me according to my deeds?

Rest from excessive desire for knowledge, 

for therein is found much distraction and deceit. 

Those who have knowledge desire to appear learned and to be called wise.  There are many things to know that provide little or no profit to the soul.  And foolish is he who focuses on things other than those that contribute to his soul's health.  Many words do not satisfy the soul, but a good life refreshes the mind, and a pure conscience gives great confidence.

The greater and more complete your knowledge, the more severely will you be judged, unless you have lived righteously.  Therefore do not be prideful about any skill or knowledge that you have.  If it seems to you that you know many things and understand them well, know also that there are many more things that you do not know.  Why do you desire to lift yourself above another, when there are many more knowledgeable and more skilled in the scriptures than you?  If you want to know and learn anything beneficial, love to be unknown and to be counted as nothing.

The best and most profitable lesson is when a man truly knows and judges himself humbly.  

To think humbly of one's self and to think always kindly and highly of others, 

this is great and perfect wisdom.  

Even if you see your neighbour sin openly or grievously, you ought not to consider yourself better than he, for you know not how long you will keep your integrity.  All of us are weak and frail; consider no man more frail than yourself.

Observation:

More often than I'd like to admit I suffer from an affliction sometimes called, "paralysis by analysis."

It is a form of fearfulness that presents as perfectionism.  Basically, I balk at starting something until I have an entire window of time that will allow me to complete the entire task in one setting.  On top of this I tell myself that I can't start until ... (until I have read that next book ... until I am much better at a given task than I am now ... until true inspiration strikes ...).  The funny thing is, when I am really struggling with this life-sucking combination of immature character traits and not-so-helpful habits it doesn't look like I am doing or accomplishing much of anything externally.  Internally though, my mind is racing and anxious.

Into my short-circuited work (that doesn't look much like work but is ever-so taxing) God speaks:

"Rest, my son."

Application:

I few years ago, a wise friend pointed out an eternal truth to me.  "You are waiting for all the work to be done to your standards before you rest; but, in the beginning God created human beings and invited them to work out of their rest."

This is the rhythm of life we are made for:

Rest.

Resting, root our identity in who God says we are.

Rooted, rise to love and serve God and neighbour. (repeat)

Notice that word, "rest" could be heard as a call to action that demands activity as our response.

"Phil, you know better than to be so pridefully perfectionist.  Get to work! Fix yourself! Rest!"

See how ready the accuser is ready to twist and misconstrue God's gracious gift of sabbath rest.

Thankfully, when our Father speaks to us, there is no such condemnation.  Thankfully, Creator never begins with a demand for our activity but always provides a word to clarify our identity.  Only this gospel word can gift us the freedom to respond playfully to the invitation to be who we are - no more, no less.

Do you find yourself stuck today?  Are you weary from working to earn your rest?

Listen to what God is saying to you ... :

"My beautiful child.  True humility is learning to see yourself as I see you.  

You are my good gift to the world." - Dad

Prayer:

Lord, as our day comes to completion, help us to see that You are our source and our end.

Grant us rest, that resting we may root, and rooted rise to love and serve according to Your will.  Amen.